How about a word of hope. This characteristic is swimming in the convoluted mess that is my brain. Occasionally, I grab hold and find peace and comfort in God’s promises. Sometimes, it’s all I can do to read a little scripture and offer any kind of prayer.
I am considering what Jana experienced, at the time of her death. What did she see? How did she make her heaven-bound exit from this existence? Even in her end-of-life, I am proud of her. Of course, God ordains our days, but she was so strong and confident when it came to such difficult life situations. She would move into another gear when babies were ready to be born, or her gall bladder surgery was required. She didn’t fear what needed to be done, whereas I was a wreck. Almost fell on the floor with the insertion of the epidural! Her last night was nothing but an illustration of strength in horrible circumstances.
“So we are always confident and know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 5:6
Jana is with the Lord. She is not at home in the body. There is none more competent to care for her than our Lord, Jesus Christ! Here is my crisis of belief. Can I believe this and allow God’s truth to permeate my mind and heart? I must! God provided a path, through Jesus His Son, to be with Him forever. My hope would be worthless without a living Savior to back it up. Praise Him!
At this moment, I am anxious to see Jana again. I have a new understanding and view of death. I am not particularly wanting to come to the end of my life, but I feel much more comfortable after Jana has gone before me. Weird feeling; Jana stepped through this ultimate earthly transition…so, I can do the same, when the time comes.
The sense that God is doing something in my life with His purposes is as great as anything else. The work I am doing, admittedly on myself, will one day be greatly beneficial to others, Lord willing. This is my hope and prayer. God, please use my suffering for your eternal purposes!
A good friend shared the Ecclesiastes 3 verses with me a few days ago. God is working, we pass through seasons, and He is glorified as He makes beautiful things from our various seasons of life. What will He do with my season of grief, sorrow, and thousands of other disjointed thoughts? It’s ok to have hope in the future, isn’t it? I have hope in salvation, but I also have hope for His purposes and His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.