Walmart

You may or may not like Walmart, but Jana and I enjoyed it. There is a strange warmth and familiarity in going to Walmart, now. The familiarity was always there, but even in different cities and different stores, the memories come flooding back.

I can remember so many occasions over the course of our time together when we stopped in a Supercenter for one thing or another. Even the parking lot. We changed the girl’s diapers several times in the Walmart parking lot while traveling. We have picked up last minute items for weddings, picnics, parties, housework, and tons of other occasions.

We excitedly went to Walmart to pick up cleaning supplies when we moved into our new house. We made a list and purchased food and cooking items for holiday get togethers. The griddle I was cooking on for the last year was obtained at Walmart. Now, it sits idle… I have lost my interest in making fun things that Jana would ooo and ahhh over.

I walked through the store in Des Moines. It’s set up almost exactly like our store in Excelsior Springs. I know just where to turn to see the Minecraft game area, or the paint section, and the outdoor furniture space…all places that I can recall conversations with Jana as we looked at the stuff for sale.

I spot the fall decorations and even Christmas stuff getting pulled out and it solidifies that time is moving on. The summer is officially over, and the world is moving on. I can’t leave this season yet! Not everybody is with us! I am holding on with all I have…but the summer, the memories, and Jana are all slipping away from me.

I had to leave. I made my way out before the tears really started to fall. Here I am, in a city we had not been to, and I am at such a familiar place. We lived our life together, we thoroughly enjoyed our time as a couple, and we did mundane, ordinary things…that now I hold so close to my heart. If I could just have a stroll through Walmart, with Jana, one more time…

Thank you, Lord, for my time with this one that I love so much. I have been blessed.

Author: kcradioman

I am the Director of Twin Oaks Family Care in Excelsior Springs, Mo. I hold a Master of Arts in counseling from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and, currently, am working on the Doctor of Ministry in Care and Counseling at MBTS. My wife and I were married in 1998 and we had 2 daughters. On July 26th, 2019, my lovely wife, Jana, was diagnosed with Leukemia and began treatment. On Aug 7th, 2019, she died of complications from the chemo treatment. God prepared us and sustains us. My way of grieving includes being open and transparent about my feelings. My hope is to provide a voice of support for others experiencing grief.

One thought

  1. It is the regular routines that aren’t the same anymore that often trigger the tears for me – the simplest activities that we enjoyed together. I can barely go to our favorite coffee shop now because all I can think about is how Josh isn’t there with me laughing with the staff and smiling with me as we talk about our day. The memories are wonderful but hard at times too. Thanks for sharing your part of the grieve story with us all.

    Liked by 1 person

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