Fulfilled

Part of church planting team in 2001.

It’s so quiet. Our home was never a “loud” place. But, there was always a good deal of laughter and horsing around. Even just conversation would fill the air. There is still a bit of chatter and sounds of people doing their thing, but it feels quieter.

I am involved in a more solitary life. The decisions are mine to make. I realized yesterday, that I answer to no person…just myself. My actions are always under the Lord, but I’m talking about the simple things that Jana was the manager of. Things like what I wore (if it was matching, appropriate, etc.), how I talked to the kids or others, dinner plans, and thousands of other little decisions that I made to ensure she was happy.

Conversation… This particular noise is missed. Visiting daily about the things that have happened to us. The routine events that make up a life. Talking about the people we meet or the plans we make. Just simply sharing my day, and listening to hers. I know right where these conversations would fit in each evening. And, that space remains there…empty.

Our time is up. We enjoyed it. I have zero regrets surrounding my life with Jana. We lived life making sure that each of us knew the other was loved, at all times, to the best of our ability. I loved her unconditionally and did everything I could for her until the moment she breathed her last.

Dear reader, I pray that you live your own example of love. Not perfection, please don’t misunderstand. We, and I, were not perfect! Many mistakes were made along the way, and I will continue to make mine. But, we chose to love. We chose to be more self-less in our relationship. We honored each other and served each other. It is in this that I have no regrets now that the marriage vows have been fulfilled…

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Ephesians 5:22-28

Author: kcradioman

I am the Director of Twin Oaks Family Care in Excelsior Springs, Mo. I hold a Master of Arts in counseling from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and, currently, am working on the Doctor of Ministry in Care and Counseling at MBTS. My wife and I were married in 1998 and we had 2 daughters. On July 26th, 2019, my lovely wife, Jana, was diagnosed with Leukemia and began treatment. On Aug 7th, 2019, she died of complications from the chemo treatment. God prepared us and sustains us. My way of grieving includes being open and transparent about my feelings. My hope is to provide a voice of support for others experiencing grief.

2 thoughts

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s