With This Ring…

My ring that matches Jana’s, it says “Chris (heart) Jana”

The rings were given, their importance underscored. The rings are a symbol of unending love and commitment. The love will never end, the commitment to a person was fulfilled. So…what of the ring?

It is so comfortable on my finger. We had a couple of rings made several years ago at Silver Dollar City. They were inscribed and I have worn mine ever since. We had gold rings, but finger sizes fluctuated and…well, they just didn’t fit anymore.

For me, at this time, my ring represents the status of my heart. My affections are focused on my memories of Jana. But, decisions regarding the jewelry will have to be made sometime down the road…

For the last several months I have been exercising and dropping pounds. The ring is already feeling loose on my finger. There will come a point, in the next few months most likely, in which I will be able to shake my hand and fling the ring off. I cannot risk losing the ring, it’s too important to me.

I see a conversion of situations. My grief work will come to a point in which I will take the ring off or my finger will slim down to the point the ring must come off! So, whichever comes first is my answer.

I have heard a few different thoughts on what to do with the ring. One psychologist, whose ideas I appreciate, said she took her ring off immediately. She said she wasn’t married and her ring was not representing the reality of her widowhood. Others, keep their ring on, sometimes, until old age.

Obviously, each person will approach something like their wedding ring a little differently. My decision on what to do has been made. I will, for the most part, let physics, and thinner fingers, make the decision for me. Once it comes off, the next question arises… Does that mean I am ready for a next step? Or, just a clearer focus on ‘me’? Hmmm… I guess I will cross that bridge when it gets here.

Author: kcradioman

I am the Director of Twin Oaks Family Care in Excelsior Springs, Mo. I hold a Master of Arts in counseling from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and, currently, am working on the Doctor of Ministry in Care and Counseling at MBTS. My wife and I were married in 1998 and we had 2 daughters. On July 26th, 2019, my lovely wife, Jana, was diagnosed with Leukemia and began treatment. On Aug 7th, 2019, she died of complications from the chemo treatment. God prepared us and sustains us. My way of grieving includes being open and transparent about my feelings. My hope is to provide a voice of support for others experiencing grief.

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