Faith, grief, finances, relationships, business…everything in my life is a big jumble. It is incredibly hard to isolate any one area and think critically about it.
I know I am pushing forward in all areas, but grief has occupied the center stage, taking most of my attention. I am doing the grief work that is necessary for my future, and standing on faith (the best that I can) for the rest of life’s needs.
Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.
It’s so hard not to fear! As I survey the landscape of my life, too often I judge success by assessing what I can handle. If I deem myself unable to fix, organize, correct, or establish all that is needed…then I fail. I am afraid of failing. Too much is at stake, and now even more is solely upon my shoulders!
God will strengthen me. He will help me. Man, if I could learn to rely on His promises here. Not just in outcomes, because outcomes are too late. I need to rely on Him in the process. Expecting wonderful results from God is akin to three rubs of the magic lamp. I need strength in the steps…
I will instruct you and show you the way to go; with my eye on you, I will give counsel.
Listen and obey. Listen and obey. Here is my faith work. Yes, I need miracles in my life. Yes, I need God to continue His supernatural provision in my life. He has been so good to us throughout each step of this particular journey, starting well before Jana ever got sick. And, yes, I need to be obedient each and every day to the guidance only He provides.
God, thank you for your loving care to my family and I. We would not have hope without You. Dear Lord, You have been so good to us and I pray that You will continue to extend your mercy. Lord, please strengthen me, day by day, to be Your servant in each decision I make. Thank you for your instruction. Amen.