Whose Am I?

Belonging… Who do I belong to? Earthly speaking, I belonged to Jana for 22 years, and she belonged to me. We were not our own. We cherished and gave ourselves to one another, just as we would have cared for our own bodies.

A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does.

1 Corinthians 7:4

This morning I was thinking about social activities and meeting others… Jana’s voice called out in my mind, “You belong to me!” I stopped in my tracks. I recognized this as one of the many guilt feelings that I have had. Not any reasonable or substantiated guilt, just the feeling that my memory will not let me move on.

I mulled this thought over, and came to some conclusions. Much to my dismay, I do not belong to Jana any longer. She has the riches of glory with Jesus! Just as she no longer belongs to me. It saddens me to even write these words. But, it is true.

These are realizations in my journey of grief that provide for next steps. I must continue to put the truth of the situation in perspective. My faith allows me to rely on God’s promises and push fear out. Through the same faith, I can turn to the future and expectantly embrace what the Lord has planned for me.

Pain, sorrow, and grief…they are not gone, but they are changing. I am growing with the grief, learning from it, becoming a different man through it.

You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. If anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to him.

Romans 8:9

Belong…I belong to Jesus. I am His.

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