Tricky Conversations

Lately, I have been having ongoing arguments with an individual that I will not name. It’s frustrating and, at most times, unfair. I heard that this type of negativity would pop up from time to time.

It seems that no matter how I want to move forward in life, this person is not satisfied with any of my decisions. I believe there is well-intentioned thoughts behind their statements, but it’s hard to recognize the supposed helpfulness at times.

One area, in particular, is in my beginning to “get out” and meet people. This just doesn’t seem to sit well with him. I am trying to explore my own understanding of how I fit in with others, widow/widowers specifically, and I am getting statements like, “You’re not ready to meet anybody,” and “how can you think about even talking to a single woman!?”

I am trying to keep an open mind and listen to good advice, but I am also moving at the precise pace that feels natural and logical to me. Every day I hurt. Every day I feel pain. All good things seem to have sharp edges that cut… But, I don’t want to give up moving forward.

Sometimes, I think this person doesn’t want me to move forward. Maybe his desire is that things were like they used to be. I don’t know…I’m still working on where the thoughts come from, and what the motives are.

I know he loved Jana and doesn’t want to let her go. I also know he is struggling with this whole situation. I will continue to try to bring him along and help him through this struggle because, you see, I have a vested interest in his success in this journey…the man I’m arguing with is me.

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