Vicissitudes

Rising on a tide of hope! I can clearly point to aspects of my life that would help this uplifting of my spirit. I suppose that is life, right? Things go well and things can go not-so-well. And when multiple areas of life seems to swell towards the positive, all at once, it’s kind of nice.

There are still plenty of situations in my life, and others that are close to me, that are like giant sandbags holding down my hot air balloon. I am far from feeling “high” on life. For me, getting to a 5 on a 10 scale is outstanding. I live at a 3 or 4.

I am hopeful in the Lord. He is working in my life to bring about His purposes. I am stepping into the man that God is shaping me to be.

It’s easy, at this moment, to talk myself into feeling better than what I do. I can “buy in” to the lighter, more hopeful, emotions of the day and forget that lows will come back. It would be so nice to just go on, like I feel now, and live my life. This is how I used to feel, better even, all the time.

I am waiting for grief…he’s lurking around the corner. At some point, I will turn, and BAM!, run right into him again. He’s really sneaking along with me now. Maybe he has a brother? Maybe there’s a bunch of Griefs, like Gremlins. They have invaded all areas of my life…causing trouble.

Just like lows still occur and remind me of the intensity of grief I experienced last summer, highs are starting to make an appearance, too. The highs remind me of life before…when the usual stuff of life was my only concern. Yes…moving toward normal, a new normal.

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