I am becoming wallpaper. Slowly blending back into the fabric of life. My life, my loss, my grief…all giving way to normal, everyday stuff. This “everyday Joe” is where I started, and where I will take my place once again.
This is what we all wanted to begin with, isn’t it? Friends and family all rally around, help in my greatest time of need, and then pray and hope for me to get some sense of happy existence back. It is slowly becoming a reality.
My pain separated me out from the mundane. The very things that made my life interesting: dinner pictures, vacation shots, and functions for the kids, was put on hold for a time while I shared something quite different. I am living something quite different.
You have supported me, through “likes”, comments, and views. In ways, I believe I supported you, too. Maybe you were close to Jana, maybe you have an interest in seeing me get better, and hopefully your faith has been strengthened through scripture and hope expressed in great loss.
I’m not going to stop writing, it’s been very good for me to express my thoughts, but I do understand that the “better” I get, the more boring I get…and that’s how it should be. My life, my happy life, is not really that interesting. Of course, it is to me! But, in general, the events of my days are pretty much like everybody else’s.
I am thankful to God for the support and care that I have received through the valley I have walked. And, believe me, I am not done. Pain is my companion. Sorrow is a standing in my door, ready to pounce on me at any time.
Turning my experience outward is becoming my goal. It is important for me to support others who find theirselves on my path, in one way or another. Going alone is not an option. You didn’t allow me to do this on my own, and I am grateful. Now, I am impressed with the need to ensure others know they are not alone, too.