I have reflected often on our early days of dating and marriage. In a relationship, those memories and moments are almost sacred to the couple. It is the beginning of a lifelong commitment and love. My personal memories are no different…the structure we built, with Christ as our foundation, was constructed with these early, cherished interactions between us.
But, now here I am, after my love has left this place and gone home to be with the Lord. I am blessed with many relationships that came about from this most important marriage relationship. I know, and love, so many wonderful people, now, through knowing my wife.
Our structure was not in vain. The life we built, the children we raised, the joy of knowing one another…God used us, and our marriage, to honor and bring glory to Himself.
Acknowledge that the LORD is God. He made us, and we are his- his people, the sheep of his pasture.
So, these relationship building memories and moments are very important. The beginnings of a love only happen once. They are to be enjoyed and savored over time. Those early moments, sometimes from years ago, between lovers become their story. It’s for them to enjoy and secretly share in together.
As I look towards the future. I know that, most likely, a new set of “beginnings” will befall me with another woman. Today, this thought makes my heart hurt. I had my first love, I enjoyed my passionate moments, and acted out on my romantic impulses… Can that happen twice?
Can I have my moments with Jana, the lovely things, the specific memories of young courtship and begin a new song now? A new musical score? The thought occurs to me, I won’t even know exactly when those memories begin, will I? They aren’t that meaningful to begin with, they grow over time.
There is room in my heart, I know. My learning, over these past seven months, has continuously pointed me towards becoming a better, stronger, more loving person. These are the hard-learned, but good qualities that can arise from such intense pain. God is shaping me into a better man, a better father, a better husband. He is leading me, as His sheep, towards the pastures He desires for me.