Seven Months

Jana standing where many hopes began…Ellis Island.

Various degrees of hope exists. There is an eternal hope, which makes all this bearable, in Jesus. Little “hope-lets” exist along the way, too. Simple things that let you know it’s not all bad.

Bruce Springsteen talks about glory days and how they pass you by in “the wink of a young girl’s eye.” It’s that wink that ignited worlds of hope back in the day. It’s the wink that you remember long after. These moments still appear, they show up without warning and encourage the heart.

Spring is beginning to make it’s grand entrance. The birds are responding with song and you can almost hear the trees yawning and stretching. Hope. It’s time to be outside, have cook-outs, enjoy each other, and live.

Actually, the time to enjoy life has not stopped, even through the winter. It was just lying dormant for me. Now, with the awakening creation around me, it seems right for my own hibernation to come to a close. At least, this is my desire today…

I am coming to new places in my journey. Constantly seeing new signposts and scenery. Progressively understanding my life, my family, and God’s will in greater depths. I miss Jana, and a part of me always will. Even so, I am finding hope and joy in life. Slowly. Surely.

Today is seven months. Seven months of fog, confusion, pain, wandering, identity crises, realizations, and growth. The Lord has stayed very near, even when I have struggled to believe. The Body of Christ has come close, bear-hugging me with their love!

I have a few “firsts” left. Mother’s Day will be tough. Maybe the toughest, I don’t know. Our anniversary is in July, and then the one-year mark in August. I really don’t like the super lows. They are the toughest to experience. These are fewer and farther between now, but they seem to still come…

My joy is in the Lord. He has sustained me and kept me. His care is evident, His love pervasive, and His Church undeterred. I do not go alone. It’s a beautiful sunny day. Hope abounds. Darkness does not rule…it has it’s day, but it does not win!

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