Indifference and Anger. Lately, the emotions that stem from anger are more common in my life. Frustration, indifference, negativity, low self-regard, and a short-temper all originate from anger over my realized loss and potential loss. Naturally, the anger may be traced back to a fear, and then back even further to a lack of faith….

Praise for Life

Life is the feeling you get when your car begins to slide on ice and you lose control. There’s no stopping it, you have enough time to get a pit in your stomach, and anything can happen. Either I need to change my view of who’s in control or I need to get used to…

Fish Out of Water

These days, I am thinking about getting out and meeting others, especially those in the widow/widower community. This comes with a lot of trouble… In the first place, I am wrestling with the idea. I have written about this, the problem crops up in guilt. I need to move past that feeling and not allow…

Good Night

The end of a busy day, The lights go out and I slip into bed. After fidgeting with the covers and getting comfortable, I look your way and whisper, “good night.” A moment I sit, patiently, quietly, Waiting for a sound, a response. My eyes strain in the dark Looking for you, hoping to hear….

I Don’t Wanna

Had a great weekend visiting family, my sister and brother-in-law’s church, and Silver Dollar City with the kids. I’m making memories. Although the new memories are sweet, they are all clouded with the fact that someone is missing… I feel that it is important to go. Beneficial to do things, get out, and continue to…

Poem “Comes the Dawn”

“And you learn to build all your roads On today because tomorrow’s ground Is too uncertain. And futures have A way of falling down in midflight. And you learn that you really can endure . . . That you really are strong And you really do have worth And you learn and learn . ….

The Path, Part 1

Along the path were walls and ceiling made of crushed glass, the floor a mix of thorns and jagged rocks. All sides were close to my body, sharp to the touch, and cutting me as I rubbed against them. The horrible way was well defined. I could not stray or escape to a different route….

A Shaky Thumbs Up

Hey, Chris, how are you doing…? Not a bad question. Stick around, if you’re willing, and I will tell you exactly how I’m doing! I was talking with a good friend on our walk around the 4 mile track in our local state park. I was trying to explain how I feel like I am…

I Just Gotta Be Me

God speaks to me through all manner of experiences, and in no way least of these is through my pastor on Sunday! He discussed identity… I have been wrestling with this term for weeks, now. Generally speaking, my identity has been “Chris and Jana.” And, I was quite satisfied with that. Now, to many, I…

Life Sucks

Sometimes my own counter-productive thoughts get me down. This is one of those times. I am not in a good frame of mind. These times come and go, and I assume (at least I have read) that it comes with the territory, but I feel low. I was reading about situational problems and self-imposed problems….