Workings of Love

Where does the desire to be in relationship come from? What is it, within us, that drives us to connect deeply with another person? Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.” Genesis 2:18 God’s design speaks to our desires….

All Aboard!

My steam engine of grief, which always seems completely filled with fuel, continues to take me along the highs and lows of this journey. As I approach significant milestones, it seems the grief begins to “ramp up” prior to the date. The engine goes into overdrive and picks up speed. Six months without Jana was…

“Why” is Too Complicated

One of the biggest moments of my hobby/interest life occurred this week. The Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl. I have been watching, rooting, and hopeful for many years, and this week I was able to enjoy the pinnacle of the 2019 NFL season with my team. But…Jana is not here. This is my…

Good and Perfect Gifts

Let me be clear, I deserve nothing. There is nothing that I have done, or that is inherently special about me that God should be compelled to give me anything. There is nothing that I have gone through that would warrant God’s kindness to me. But, in His grace, He chooses to give good things…

Anything Can Happen

“It could happen.” This was a thought that I held loosely, almost with the same grip that I held on to World War III. Yeah, anything can happen but, it won’t. Then, the whole concept was shattered when…it did. I guess I played the odds. Odds were, my wife and I would live happily for…

Elusive Normal

Today marks five months since my beautiful wife went home to be with the Lord. Her memory draws me back in time. I often wish that I could live in the past somehow. Relive the days and years we spent together, I would start from the beginning and do it all over again… Living in…

Time Obeys God

On the 8th, earthly-time went on leaving Jana behind on the 7th. Then, the days of August ended and, again, moved on without Jana. Now, the calendar will turn to the new year, and time is doing it’s best to shuffle this one significant life into the stack of eternity. Old Man Time will not…

Home

Jana knew that I loved her tremendously. She had no doubt that I cared for her and would be by her side no matter what life brought. I know she loved me in the same way, and it would have taken my death for her to leave my side. These days I am considering the…

Faithless Feelings

God, I’m struggling. My questions run deep, maybe deeper than I recognize or want to admit. After years of confessing, teaching, and believing your word, I find myself questioning You, Yourself, because of Your decisions. More than just “why?” The question is bigger, the wondering encompasses more than just a simple query of purpose. God,…

Exactly as He Planned

Why do I have to remind myself that Jana has died? Every so often, I find myself, sometimes saying out loud, “She is gone.” Then I consider that fact and go positive or negative in my next thoughts… Negative thinking includes sorrow, anger, and almost a sense of panic…wanting to yell out loud or fall…