The Song is Beautiful.

When did the song begin? I don’t really know…until after it had been playing for awhile. Then, one day, I realized…this is my song. The music rose and fell, the tempo followed life… It was beautiful, mesmerizing, and the notes were put together in such a way that they touched my heart like nothing ever…

Graduation.

We often just talked. Maybe just before dinner, after our day of work, or right after the family had sat down to eat together, we may have relaxed in the living room and visited on the couch. The rattle and clink of pans and silverware were heard from the kitchen as the kids performed their…

Warmth? Is That You?

A box of individual servings of almond butter. A blanket folded and placed on the chair. An adapter for the outlet used to charge a laptop. I know exactly what she left and how she left it. There are not many of these things remaining…items that are still in the exact spot that she placed…

A Bigger Picture

Relationships are all about the possibilities. A key feature is the ability to know somebody deeper as the relationship progresses, be it a friend, family member, or spouse. If there are problems or breaks in the relationship, hope of reconciliation always lingers in the wings for it’s opportunity to heal. What happens when one member…

Yeah, but…

What were our routines? What was the daily schedule… I suppose if I thought hard enough I could recall the day-to-day life that Jana and I held. It seems so far away now… I could sit and try to remember, but what will that do for me? Make me sad? Wish for the past? Get…

Flinging Totes

There is a limit. Sorting, packing up, and arranging the stuff of our life together is hard work that can, apparently, only be done in short segments. I have a lot to complete, but I hit a wall and must stop torturing myself with all the memories. Items that were long forgotten pop up in…

A Halloween Trick

One down, three to go. For the last few days, I was feeling down and somewhat more depressed than usual. Then, on Halloween, I was really struggling with emotions. I got home after a tough day of mental turmoil to find out that the kids were also struggling. My hypothesis was bolstered… We did not…

The “Up” Side to Grief

Moving on, getting over it, progressing, changing, getting better, feeling good, accepting, growth, new life… People package working through the grief process in a lot of different ways. Any way you slice it, it’s tough! I am not the same person that I was August 6th, the day before Jana died. And, I am not…

Exactly as He Planned

Why do I have to remind myself that Jana has died? Every so often, I find myself, sometimes saying out loud, “She is gone.” Then I consider that fact and go positive or negative in my next thoughts… Negative thinking includes sorrow, anger, and almost a sense of panic…wanting to yell out loud or fall…

Character – Authentic Faith

We have also obtained access through him by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. Romans…