Not Here

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, concerning those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, in the same way, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep….

My World is Warped

Everything that happens in my life is measured against a “feeling” chart. I ask myself how I am feeling about this holiday or that memory. “How are you doing?” Still a great question… I’m tired of the question, but it still seems appropriate. I’m still walking in, what feels like, a fog. I find myself…

Anything Can Happen

“It could happen.” This was a thought that I held loosely, almost with the same grip that I held on to World War III. Yeah, anything can happen but, it won’t. Then, the whole concept was shattered when…it did. I guess I played the odds. Odds were, my wife and I would live happily for…

“I Like Me”

Today I miss warming up next to Jana. Snuggling under a blanket, watching a movie, or visiting. It’s freezing cold outside and my heart feels like it’s matching the weather in temperature. My love is not here. I’m trying… I’m trying to make friends – and I have met some great people. I’m trying to…

The Dresser is Done

I finished packing up Jana’s stuff in my room tonight. There was one dresser left with jewelry, clothing, and various keepsakes. Everything gets put into large totes and taken downstairs until a later date. We will go through them at some point in the future and decide what to do with everything…not now. Surprisingly, I…

Exactly as He Planned

Why do I have to remind myself that Jana has died? Every so often, I find myself, sometimes saying out loud, “She is gone.” Then I consider that fact and go positive or negative in my next thoughts… Negative thinking includes sorrow, anger, and almost a sense of panic…wanting to yell out loud or fall…

The Grave

Then we who are still alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:17-18 Across the dirt mound were three containers holding the remnants…