Still Here

Jana, I meant what I said. I told you that I would love you, care for you, and be by your side through sickness and in health. I meant it… So many times, this last year, I have sat on this couch, with the tablet in my lap, crying as I typed. Today is no…

An Open Letter to Man

Man, love your wife. Ok, I can already hear your wheels turning… “I do!” “She knows that I love her.” “Why are you suggesting that I don’t?” Listen to me, you can love her more. Don’t be so arrogant as to believe that you love her as much as humanly possible. That thinking automatically says…

Joy in the Mourning

I am emotionally skipping across the bottom… So, I found it fitting to write about joy! Why not? Count your many blessings, name them one by one… Even in the darkness of my grief and confusion with life, there are things to find joy in. Here are a few… Family and Friends. I constantly find…

My Un-addressed Letters

“Jana, you would love this.” “Oh, Jana, let me tell you about that!” So many times, I have found myself wanting to share part of my life with her. I carefully write out my thoughts, fold the paper in thirds, place it in the envelope, put a stamp in the corner…but, it remains unsent. It…

Navigating into Uncharted Water

How about some practical thoughts on the grief-to-identity-to-love path? How does it happen? Well, I’m still figuring this out since my thoughts are relatively fresh on the subject. But, I want to share what I’m thinking…these thoughts are all a part of the journey! Note: Sharing my thoughts about the future possibilities of meeting somebody…

Love…Again?

Some, who have lost a spouse, realize quickly that they possess a deep desire to love another person intimately…again. Here is my experience with this concept, to date, and the areas of my life in which I am processing. First of all, the desire to remarry, find an intimate relationship, or date, is not an…

With Us

What is the Christmas celebration? Yes, for certain, it is the birth of Jesus. But, His birth does not bring the pain of missing loved ones, it’s the one thing that brings hope! No, celebration, and struggle, is also in the gathering, I think. Each year, we gather and enjoy one another’s presence. We also…

Prepared for…

Can I mention what many of us are asking? “What will 2020 bring?” If we knew now, what we will know on Christmas of 2020, would we even want to start the new year? Or, would we anxiously jump into January? Well, it doesn’t matter. You can’t tell the future…none of us can. So, buckle…

Sharing With a Jewel

I am thankful for the exciting, happy times that I have. It is wonderful to experience mountain top highs and genuine joys in life. Every good moment comes with it’s painful chaser…I can’t tell Jana about this. Every little thing, or big thing, is something that you want to share with the one you love….

The MISS Scale

Ok…so, Christmas is on at our home. The tree is up, boxes are everywhere, and tinsel is already getting stuck to the bottoms of my feet. It’s nice… After reflecting on whether or not I was emotional about the decorations (which kind of tells the story…I wasn’t sad because I had to think about it)…